Uncle Big, Uncle Big, Uncle Big, Big, BIG!

So we found out yesterday that my Uncle Big died. Nobody is sure how and it came as the biggest shock. He was only 52. While it's all really really sad, I'm somehow finding comfort in the situation, becuase I know that he's in Heaven. I remember growing up that sometimes he would talk about Jesus so much that I wondered if there was anything else he knew how to talk about. Now, I'm so thankful for all the time he spent reading the Bible and pouring into the church and God's Kingdom. I was reading this morning in my "quiet time" and it suddenly dawned on me that while Jesus was on Earth, he was a carpenter-he built things. It never occured to me before, but it seemed to have been a foreshadowing of what was to come. Now that he is in Heaven and dwells among his people, he is also a carpenter...only, of people. He builds and shapes and molds pepole into the man/woman He wants them to be. And the thing that was so cool to me this morning was that now, Uncle Big gets to be a carpenter right alongside of Jesus in Heaven. I know he's up there smiling down on us and thinking we're a whole bunch of sorry sacks (one of Uncle Big's coined phrases) becuase we're a little slow on the uptake of what Jesus tries to tell us. He's up there hanging out fully the person he is meant to be and loving life! And now that he's no longer walking among us and being a light for others around him on the earth (as he most certainly was), he is a carpenter with Jesus helping to shape us into the people that God wants us to be. Pretty awesome picture. So, here's to you, Uncle Big. We all love you and will miss you so much. But you will certainly never be forgotten. A little piece of you is in and with each of us, you sack of seeds.

We need a makeover

I had a second interview today with Urban Accents, which went really well. It went so well, in fact, that I just got a call saying they would like to offer me the position. Super cool. Just to not be too hasty, I'm taking the weekend to really think it over and make certain it's the right place for me. Anyway, that being said, it was interesting being in the interview. As I was sitting there chatting it up, a little ways into the interview, something came up. The guy said to me, "I think it's really great that you're so involved in your church. And you talked about your old job and mentioned Christian values and morals. We don't really run by Christian values, but we are about treating people the right way and living by standards that are good and right. So, I just have to ask...the two owners of the company are gay. Do you have a problem with that?" My immediate reaction was to bust out laughing! No, of course I don't have a problem with that. I don't have a problem with people and the lifestyle they choose to live. I don't agree with the lifestyles necessarily, but I'm not going to damn someone or judge someone because of it. However, then I got a little bit sad. Really, what is this saying about the way Christians are perceived. Apparently to the "outsider", we are very judgemental and only accepting of people who are like us; of other Christians. This makes me a little sick to my stomach. If we are claiming to be Christians, and living as Jesus lives, then aren't the non-Christians exactly the people we should be loving the most? Shouldn't we be respectful of people's decisions. It's not me who is going to change someones heart. It's Jesus. And how can anyone see Jesus through me if I'm not living out a life that loves and cares for sinners like myself? I think the Church needs a bit of a makeover. We need to do something that changes the way people see us. We are supposed to love. And I'm saddened by the fact that we are viewed as being so elitist. Too bad there isn't a What Not To Wear-Church Addition. Let's take the ugliness, the elitist attitudes, and general rudeness out of our churches, and send them to the trash. I'd like to upgrade our wardrobe to one that looks more like love, patience, peace, and kindness- that's more stylish if you ask me.

Break the Mold

“The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.’” –Isaiah 29:13

Reading this passage this morning, I am again reminded of how we really do need to break the mold so-to-speak. As Christian’s, I feel that we tend to really just follow what other Christian’s do, and hold ourselves up to these human standards that have been created as the right way to do things. Well, again, I think that there is no real “right way”; at least not one that has been created by man. The only truly right way to do things is to do it God’s way. And believe me; I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no good at this either, and that I really need help in this area. However, I just point out that as a church body, we are not very good at expanding and taking hold of which part we play. I think we just tend to follow what is good for one person and turn it into meaning that it’s the right way for everyone. How far off can we be, though? Seriously. Again and again, I’ve been coming back to 1 Corinthians 12:12-14. “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many part form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body-whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free-and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up on one part but of many.” While it may be designed that one of us is a great hand, another a foot, and still another a mouth, or arm, or leg, or eye. Whatever it is, I think as a church, we are missing out big on the part where we teach and disciple people to really take hold of who they are designed to be; and that what works for one does not work for another. I’m not sure how we can really go about doing something about this, or how we would really teach this to people, but I think it’s about time we really do that. If we are learning and being discipled from someone who may be a hand, this does not mean that whatever this person does is what everyone else has to do. We are all too often caught up in being cookie-cutter. We may be good at winning souls for Christ, but after that, we try to shape people into being this thing that they may not be. I think that this may be something that really turns people off from the church. I believe people don’t feel that they can be themselves. No wonder we have trouble being transparent- we are afraid of being judged by our fellow Christian’s because we don’t do it they way he or she does it. This is a huge problem! Christ Himself gives us the things we need to know. And a big one is straight up we aren’t supposed to be manufactured! It’s time to break the mold. We need to be who we are, be unashamed, and unafraid that they way we do things is all wrong because we are basing this on a human rule we have been taught. Each part of the body has its own function, and requires something different to allow it to work the way it needs. Let’s take a look at what Christ says, ask Him who we’re each supposed to be, and put that to use for His Kingdom. Apparently I’m feeling rebellious. Or perhaps it’s just revolutionary?

Open door

So on Monday I had an interview with Urban Accents, a company started by a chef who was saddened by the lack of quality spices available in stores. That job would be an administrative position and a bit of customer service. Basically, I would be getting things done for other people that don't really have time to do it themselves, and just generally helping out around the place and doing assigned tasks for the day. Pretty much sounds like my kind of job. I definitely don't think I would be feeling bored, and would certainly be very busy. I got a bit nervous because it seems that there have been two people before me who have tried their hands at the job and got so frustrated with it that they left. However, having been a "Newlifer" for about 3 years now, I think I have the hang of the whole organized chaos thing down pretty well. I am not so big on directing my own traffic, but I can sure take orders from people, and with a bit of guidance, once you tell me what I need to do, let me loose and I'll take care of the rest. So anyway, I met two people from the company and enjoyed both of them. Most of the people are pretty young, which is exciting for me, and it's an adult environment where I can still be of service to other people. I wonder how creative I would be able to be? Creativity is my new favorite thing. I'm really into writing things, and just being able to make and create and do things. Anyway, you can't win 'em all, so generally I'd say it sounds like a pretty good fit.

The next day I also went out and filled out more applications and such because I'm pretty much not stopping until I get a job that feels right. So I stopped at Ann Taylor Loft and filled out and application and had an interview on the spot. Obviously there are pros and cons to each of these jobs, I can't quite figure out which would really be the best one. Although, the more I think about it, I think that Urban Accents would be better. Because while I can save money on buying clothes, it's really a selfishly chosen job- that would be my main motivation, and probably not really save a whole lot of money which is the other big must for me in a job. Trying to save money to buy a house, to have a family, and to be able to live a bit more freely than just paying our way through life is a nice touch.

I've been praying for an open door in just one place, and the others to be closed. I think God might have just opened the one. Awesome-I got a second interview at Urban Accents just now as well! Hooray.

Off to grab the Muppet.

We can't all be the hands

“-at that time the Lord spoke through Isaiah, son of Amoz. He said to him, ‘Take off the sackcloth from your body and the sandals from your feet.’ And he did so, going around stripped and barefoot.” –Isaiah 20:2
Reading this last night before going to sleep, replaying over and over in my head was that “and he did so, going around stripped and barefoot.” It really made me think a lot about the obedience we should desire to have of the Lord. I found that I was asking myself, if the Lord asked me to go around stripped and barefoot for three years-would I do it. And then I was thinking, wow, okay, so I probably wouldn’t be asked to actually walk around naked and shoeless for three years today (that may lead to a small problem with the police), but we can certainly be asked to walk around stripped and barefoot in several different areas. I was thinking that without really even having to ask me, there are things that I need to strip myself of. I think that main thing would be my insecurity. I need to strip that away and become more organic-a bit more naked. I know that I tend to walk around with this bubble of protection up because I’m terrified of what people will think about me; about whether or not I’m smart enough, or capable enough, or look right or dress right. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I’m going to stop caring about the way I present myself, that I’m just going to wear pajamas all the time and mismatched clothing- I want to take pride in the way I look; to not be a complete slob, but not care about whether or not people care if I’m always wearing the most expensive and fashionable clothing. In our home group last night, we started discussing Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God, and it came up in conversation that the things we do should not be done out of a half-heartedness. That what we commit ourselves to doing is not about how much we do to impress other people and to look Christian, but that what we do should be done out of a desire to serve God and to please Him. Seems pretty basic, right? Well, I thought so too because I have recently been struggling with this myself. I have found that sometimes at our church, we have to fit just right into a certain mold- we shouldn’t listen to certain music, or go to certain venues or hang out with those types of people because it’s not what Christian’s do. However, I think what’s really cool is that this is probably completely backwards thinking. Jesus did not fit into any mold. It was also brought up that when he healed the blind, seven different times, he did this miracle in seven different ways. There was not right way to have to heal people, no mold to fit into that would cause us to recognize this way as God’s way. He just healed people in whatever way was right for that moment, and that situation. Now, the other point here is, did He just heal people half-heartedly? Well, no. He always did His work with the most excellence. I think that sometimes we forget to do things excellently, and just do them for the sake of looking Christian. I know that sometimes it seems there is a mold of the right way to do Christian things- we have true worship when we are raising our hands, or down on our knees and our faces covered in tears. Now, for some people, this may be genuine and the way that they truly connect with God and recognize His presence; for others (like myself), it’s not. And that’s okay. For some, it may be doing our morning devotions and spending time in the Word for a certain amount of time and setting aside specific periods of time for prayer; for others, it may not. Our relationships with God are not supposed to fit into a specific mold. They are supposed to be genuine and true. There is no mathematic or scientific formula that we have to try to figure out, or special code we have to crack to be able to have an authentic relationship with God. Our relationships are just the opposite in fact, or should be, to be truly organic. That’s the cool thing about being a Christian. Sure, there are steps of obedience we need to take-like Isaiah’s example of following God’s direction of walking around stripped and barefoot for three years, but we shouldn’t do these things because we think they make us better Christian’s or better people, or to “one up” other Christian’s with our goodness- we should do them out of a love for God and a desire to follow His will for our lives. We are not God’s giant sheet of cookie dough waiting to be stamped into teddy bear patterns-we are His each cut into just the right shape for what He wants to do with us. We shouldn’t try to conform to the Christianese way of thinking; we should simply be the person we are made to be and be unashamed of whom that is. It’s really quite freeing if we realize that what works and is needed for one person is not necessarily what works and is needed for ourselves. Like Tony said, we can’t all be hands.

Rent to Live?

Okay, so I'm a huge nerd, and I really love watching the Oprah show. Sure, not everyone loves Oprah, and I too have some qualms about her-mostly the fact that she doesn't share her magazine cover with anyone. But, anyway, there are some things that she does that really are great. She started another show (yeah, yeah) called The Big Give, which takes 10 people from across the country who want to give back for something they themselves have been given. I think it's a great thing. MalaakCompton-Rock, Chris Rock's wife is one of the celebrity judges on the show, and one thing she said today on Oprah made so much sense. She started it by saying that this is something she says so much at home that her kids can already recite it; "Serving is the rent we pay for living." I have no idea what the Rock families values are, or what their beliefs are, but as Christians, I think this is the attitude we should all possess. We have been given life by the Almighty, powerful God, and what did we ever deserve to have it? And, in our sin nature, we continue to act like huge clowns, grieving the heart of God, yet He continues to love and care for us, walks with us and never turns His back on us no matter how many times we may do it to Him. We have been given this life and the only thing we are really supposed to do is to love God, and show His love to others. I think that the least we can do is pay our rent for living-through serving. God calls us to serve and to do it without griping or feeling burdened by it. Last night we have a worship and prayer night at Lakeview, and there were only about 10 of us there. But one thing Pastor Kevin said about prayer is that it is a burden from God, but shouldn't be burdensome. It should be something we feel we need to do, but not that it is a pain or a hassle. I think the same can be said for service. It should be a burden from God, but shouldn't be burdensome at all. In fact, I know from traveling to Uganda and seeing these amazingly beautiful people- who by our standards have absolutely nothing- may not have "anything" materially speaking, yet they have everything because they have God, and the biggest, most giving and serving hearts. We went there to serve them and help them to spread the Gospel, but more than I can say I helped them accomplish anything, I learned what it truly means to serve others, and do it cheerfully and out of love. The Ugandan people are some of the most unique and beautiful people I have ever met. They love people so much, don't get mad about anything, and are just genuine in every sense of the word. This is something that I hope that I can aspire to and think that I forget sometimes. I pray that for each of us, we take the very gift of life and blessing that we have been given so freely, and use it to serve others. To pay our rent for living, so to speak.

Outside the Church Walls

The nation lost and dying// Searching for You// Creation waits// Children with the word of God// Written on their hearts// Show love to the world// We need to wake up, wake up// Live like God// Pour out love// We need to wake up, wake up// Live like God// Pour out love// I know it's sad// That the gift we have// We keep it for ourselves// Most of the time// The world is looking// For a love that's locked up// Inside these four walls// Break the door down and shine// Our face is set// Our goal is heaven// Jesus, You are the well of love// We'll pour You out -Leeland

So yesterday I went and got the new Leeland CD because they are amazingly amazing and I love their music very much. This is a song called Wake Up, and as per usual, listening to the songs yesterday, I wasn't in love with any of the songs like I was with their first CD, but recognize that it is extremely rare that I actually enjoy a worship CD the first time I hear it. However, this song stood out to me yesterday because it uses Toms in the drumming pattern which always make me like songs even more. And this morning after I dropped Mike off at work, I listened to the song over, and over again the whole way home. It typically takes me a while to be able to pick out lyrics, and so today I got them. And this song is just super awesome to me. Not only does it sound super neat, but it's a really great message. We as Christians tend to keep out Christianity locked up within the confines of the four church walls-however, what God calls us to is to pour out love to the world, and take "church" outside of church on Sunday's. We really do need to pour out the love of Jesus to others-in the community, and the world. That looks different for everyone; but the idea is the same. For me, pouring out that love comes in the form of service. For Mike, worship. For others, Administration, Healing, Prayer, any number of things really. The point is, God has given us these amazing gifts and talents, and why we keep them locked up inside the Church is beyond me, really. I know that I tend to want to serve in the church and hide there and be surrounded by the safety and comfort of other Christians, but I'm completely missing the point if I want to stay locked up there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that I quit serving in the church itself, but just that I need to take my God-given gifts outside of those walls, and start putting myself in slight less comfortable situations so that I can share the love of God with others.

It's a dangerous thing to pray sometimes, because God does hear them and answer them. It's like when the world says "Be careful what you wish for", only be careful what you pray for, because God will use you if you ask him to. So, here's me asking. God, bring me to a new place, a place that is less comfortable for me. Help me to use my gifts of service to help others, and bring your joy and light outside the walls of the Church.

Weight Loss and God?

“Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'?” Job 38:8-11.

Last night I started a Bible study with Setting Captives Free called The Lord’s Table. It is a study about eating right and being healthy and losing weight- but not for our own benefit and desire, but to bring glory to God. The first night really rocked me. For as long as I can remember, I have had poor self-image. I remember being ten-years old and standing in front of a wall of mirrors at my grandmothers’ house and her coming up behind me and saying, “Wow, you’re getting a little chunky.” I’ve never been the same since. I also remember being in 4th grade sitting in the backseat of our family Volvo Station Wagon crying because my legs were too fat because they didn’t have a gap in between them when I sat down or when I stood up. And in all this time, I’ve never realized that the reasons I wanted to lose weight were out of my own selfish motivation. I wanted to look good, to feel good, and for people to notice that I look nice or was pretty or really thin. Not that I want to be a supermodel, because it’s just not in the cards for me, but I just wanted to be—cute. However, after starting the study last night, I realize that I’ve been going about weight loss all the wrong way. If I change my perspective to wanting to bring glory to God through weight loss, then my motives are right and I’m not being selfish and will probably have much better results because I won’t have done something on my own-but through the help of the Lord. As I was wrapping up Job this morning, I came across the verses above and was really stunned by them. It’s so amazing to think about how God has complete control over every single thing in creation. He gave the rivers a place to flow, gave the stars a place in the sky, put the clouds in the air and told them to hold in the rain, and the oceans’ waves where to stop. Holy buckets! Again, not that these are particularly new ideas that I’ve learned, but putting them in perspective with this new study makes it seem so much more realistic that I can reach my goal-not of my own volition or power or strength, but by the grace and strength of God who has done all of these amazing feats. If He can tell the waves where to stop crashing, He can certainly tell me when to stop eating just because I’m eating, not because I’m hungry. I really feel empowered by this new sense of freedom, and find rest in knowing that if I put my work in (which I will definitely have to do-and stop being quite as lazy), that God will take care of the rest and through all of this, I can bring glory to God.

“And they will go to others and say, ‘We have sinned, we have perverted what is right, but we did not get what we deserved. God has delivered us from going down to the pit, and we shall live to enjoy the light of life.’ God does all these things to people-twice, even three times-to turn them back from the pit, that the light of life may shine one them.” –Job 22:27-30

I read this section of Job this morning, and it continues to be so refreshing to be reminded that the things we go through in life are never without purpose. God calls us to be pure, and views us as holy and upright, but only after we repent of our sins. It’s nice to know, and be reminded, that when we do go through things, are put through the proverbial fire, and sometimes even multiple times, God uses those times to teach us, to draw us closer to Him, and to cleanse us of our unrighteousness. Not to say that going through these times is enjoyable, but it’s good to realize that sometimes, we are just completely blind to what God is trying to show us. I know for me, I’ve been going through a really tough time in not being able to find a job. I was really questioning God, and asking what I was missing and not understanding. And it wasn’t until about last weekend when I finally figured something out; I was really wrapped up in finding a job that has some kind of special title-something that sounded cool, and good. I wanted so badly to be a ‘doer’ and was lacking on being a seeker. I had come to realize that all the time I was yelling in God’s face about how I don’t understand what He is doing and why He was continually not allowing me to have a job, I was missing the part about really asking Him what it is that He wants from me. I was so caught up in making myself feel special because of some job title, that I was missing out on serving Jesus. And back to Job, I am so thankful that despite my terrible attitude and being angry with God, that He loves me enough to continually put me through the fire when I’m missing the point, and sinning, so that I can be refined into the person He wants me to be. I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets put through the same fire-two, even three times!

On Prayer

“Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent...Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows. What you decide on will be done and light will shine on your ways. When people are brought low and you say, ‘Lift them up!’ then he will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.” –Job 22:21-23a,26-30.

This past Sunday at church, Pete Gregg came to speak with us about the importance of prayer. He came all the way from England, and is a friend of Pastor Mark Jobe. He was really interesting. He started a grassroots movement called 24/7 prayer, which is exactly as it sounds; he started a meeting place in England where people come to pray for one month 24/7, to see what God can do when we submit to him in prayer. He said that everything we do must be birthed in prayer, or it is not worth doing. He also talked about how we as Christians generally have a poor time with prayer and we spend a lot more time doing and much less time praying. Pete said there are three stages we typically go through, and struggle with each one. He said that the first is knowing and understanding God’s unending, and pure love for us. He illustrated this by describing his baby Hudson, who is the only person who has ever done such horrible things to him(yelled in his face, spit in his mouth, pooped on him and thrown up on him), yet he loves him more than any human being he has ever loved. This is how God loves us; while we are dirty and horrible and do many of these same things to God, he loves us unconditionally as a father loves his children. (I completely understand this illustration, but don’t think I will ever truly understand this until I become a parent.) The second stage then is truly finding the time to be with God. Luke 6:13 says, “When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated as apostles.” God chose us to be his disciples, as his apostles. It is really humbling, and exciting to rethink the idea that God chose each one of us, and God chose me to be one of his Apostles! Because God chooses each of us, and calls us by name, He wants to be with us! This means He wants us to spend time with Him; and spending time with Him means being with Him in prayer. This is where I began to feel convicted. I often do my prayer time in the shower each morning-which is not to say is the wrong place to pray, but it is not time set apart to be with God. I also pray throughout the day as I’m driving, or running errands, or even running, again, not bad times or places, just not set apart. I know I need to seek God more intimately and spend time just being with Him. And then the third thing, after we know and understand who God is, and spend time being with Him, then we can go and do-we can serve and know we are serving and doing the things God calls us to be doing, not just do what we think would be fun or should be doing, or have to do.

the Gospel according to Heath

Mike and I were at the Y tonight, and on the news is a spot about Heath Ledger being found dead in his apartment or wherever it is that he lived. As I continued running and such, my mind was wondering and thinking about how this death is part of God's plan. If Heath wasn't a Christian, some people might ask how it could be used as part of His plan, or if it was even part of it. Well, for that, the only answer I can come up with is that killing yourself is not acting in the will of God; He would never want you to actively take your life. But, I would also suggest that even though this act was outside of the will of God, it can be used by Him in the lives of others-for instance, in my own. Not that I'm a huge Heath Ledger fan, and wanted to see all his latest movies and boned up on all the latest gossip (though he was good at what he did), it really got me thinking. So, now, Heath is dead, and if he wasn't a Christian, he's in Hell. Plain and simple. While its a horrible thought, and not one I enjoy thinking about, it's just the fact. And the thing that got me most about the situation is that I realized I spend so much of my time thinking and worrying about whether or not I'm getting it right, or I'm doing enough of spending enough time doing the things that I "should" be doing as a Christian, but not nearly enough time worrying about others. I don't want to ever have to think about anyone I know burning away and suffering for all of eternity. I can't live with that king of weight on my shoulders. Not that it is a new "goal" or anything like that, but this has been an interesting wake up call of sorts. So here's to you, Heath. Thank you for opening my eyes to what I've been missing.